Posted: May 16 2015, 04:25 PM
THE BITCH THAT MAKES THE BISCUITS
The weather in this place is un-fucking-believable, just ask any local! It's either hot as hell (and not half as pleasant) or cold as balls. There's literally no inbetween, if it's a breezy day - something is probably horribly wrong and you should duck. If the raiders and other assorted psychos don't get you first, the heat of this definitely will. People die of exposure all the time out in the wastes because they weren't wearing the right clothes.
There ain't a lot of water here in the Mojave to start with, sure - there's the damn and river but that shit's so fucking irradiated you go in there, you might come out Superman but like...dead too. Zombie superman? That a thing? Eh, who the fuck cares. The highest known temperature it's reached out here has been 140ºF (60ºC), that's fucking hot as shit.
Now - some people claim that the people of the Mojave have somewhat evolved to withstand the heat and sure, most people are pretty acclimated to the heat - there's also the problem of the cold. Night here is a dangerous time, temperatures drop sharply and it gets cold enough for you to see your own goddamn breath in some areas. It is generally more pleasant to travel at night but raiders also think that and unless you wanna end up a hood ornament, you best watch yer goddamn ass.
Electricity and fresh water are privileges only those puffed-up fucks on the Strip can afford. Oh yeah, there's fucking electricity all over the place - it's created by the hoover dam, it's just only used for the Strip. How fucked is that bullshit? Fresh water is hard as hell to come by and one of the things most desperately needed.
The nobles have water filtration plants set up but they're only used to supply the damn stuff to the Strip itself. Supposedly, there are water rations allowed within the city but everyone else? You're on your goddamn own though there are rumors that the Savages managed to get a water filtration system working for themselves but I ain't asking those crazy bitches for a damn thing. More likely to skin me.
Vehicles are rare but not impossible to find. Most are rusted heaps though. Every so often though, you might run across a few spare parts that could still potentially make something run if put in the hands of a mechanic. Anything beyond cars though? I've never seen anything like a plane or a helicopter but that doesn't mean some army base way out in the middle of fuck doesn't have one. I sure as fuck wouldn't try to fly one though.
Drugs and booze are everywhere. Booze is well-loved by many and drugs less so but still incredibly popular. I mean...the world we live in? I can understand wanting to leave your mind for a little while. Drugs are expensive though and everything in this shithole of a world goes on a barter system. There ain't no money anymore, the dollar is fucking useless - you can't even burn the little fuckers for warmth really.
Fresh food? Heh...depends on what you mean by 'fresh'. Trying to find food that's not a little bit irradiated? That's tough but there are options. A lot of people simply hunt. Birds and dogs and cats and livestock are still somewhat plentiful and them's good eating if you've got the stomach for it. Everyone fuckin loves beef though so if you manage to actually own a cow, you better be ready to protect ol' bessie because chances are - raiders will come for her.
Technology? Well...there ain't really anymore. The internet went down decades ago and cellphones can't get a signal anymore. Every so often though, I'll see some punk with a music player or some shit. Jukeboxes are around inside the city and in a lot of bars, though most of the time they don't even fucking work.
There are these crazies though. These people who live out in this bunker from before the war. The place is supposedly packed with all sorts of tech that people could only dream of. It was created as a shelter for the noteworthy and rich-as-fuck pretty much but not a lot of people were able to get in. A lot of scientists, fancy artists, doctors, important people like that who have no desire to be at the tippy top of those casino towers. They're religious down there, all sorts of fucked up shit but if you're looking for anything more advanced than a broken microwave - them's yer best bet.
Oh yeah, there's a 'government' alright. Bunch of lousy fuckers up in the casinos. They call themselves 'The Council' and they supposedly rule everything they can fucking see. So goddamn annoying to be told your breaking a law when you're just trying to survive. They stifle the people in the city with all sorts of laws and curfews and taxations and forced labor.
Yeah, a lot of their labor is based on slavery but even the free people aren't really free, not underneath those fucks. It's why I choose to live out here, why a lot of people do really. The Council likes to talk big, make big shows and even bigger spectacles but I've yet to see them try to come and enforce their laws on any of the outer settlements or on any of the raiders. Heh. That I might actually like to watch.
If there was ever gonna be anything that survived a nuclear apocalypse, it was gonna be fuckin religion. All sorts of nutters and crazies out there, claiming that God hates us and shit. Catholicism survived and you'll see preachers and priests all over the place. A lot of religion is primitive now too.
I've seen people praying to sun, asking the desert to spare them and help them find water. I've seen people sacrifice other people for supposed blessings. Religion can help, I ain't saying that it can't. It's helped me, I almost died of thirst once and it was a woman wearing a cross who gave me a few sips from her canteen. But religion can do a lot of harm too...a lot. Just...take my word for it.
Yeah...yeah, it fuckin exists still. Slavery's common out here as fucked up as it is. The Reavers hold a monopoly on the acquisition and selling of flesh but people all over buy them. The nobles are the biggest of the bunch, using slaves as cheap labor to ever expand their city. Every so often, a particularly wealthy one will have slaves for personal reasons and I bet you can guess what those are. Brothels are a big one for the Reavers as well. Sex slavery is the most popular and it's...it's so fucked.
Slaves also fight in the pit. See, the Reavers control a place called Caeser's Palace and in that place, there's a Coliseum. It used to be for concerts or some shit like that but they've gutted the place - turned it into a fucking slaughter den. Slaves can fight for their freedom to the death against other slaves or wild beasts or anyone else who wishes to fight for enjoyment. There a Pit Champions too, slaves who're so good at murdering other slaves that they become sort of like...celebrities. If you can't tell how fucked up this is already, I don't know what to say to you.
You ever see one of these fuckers? Nasty shit, man. Mutants are what we call those who've fallen to residual fallout. Sometimes, cancer claims people quick but not always - sometimes the radiation is just enough to leave a person twisted and monstrous. Mutants are quick and while they're relatively stupid - they're dangerous in groups. Their bite is infectious as all hell - one scrape from a tooth or hell, even a nail and you can be sporting all sorts of shit in your bloodstream.
If you ever get cornered by them and there ain't no way out - a bullet to the brain might be your best way out. These things will fucking eat you down to the bone and they don't care if you're still screaming when they tear into you. Thankfully, they're not too common but you can usually find a few in most industrialized places. Vegas has somewhat of a problem with them but you already know my opinion on that hellhole.
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